Severus Snape and the Fruitcake that Lost It's Way
by Baka Kitsune
Summary: Snape finds a fruitcake that causes quite the mishap at Hogwarts..


SEVERUS SNAPE: And The Fruitcake That Lost It's Way!  
  
  
  
"Twas the week before Christmas,  
And all through Hogwarts,  
Every creature was stirring,  
Even the...Fruitcake?"  
  
  
Severus Snape sat at his desk. He had been preparing the most evil test ever for his class..well, mainly the one Harry was in. "Dum de de de dum..Toss in some stuff we've never learned, throw in what we learned in transfiguration..de de de.." he sang as he wrote it up. Something then caught the corner of his eye..Ontop of a large pile of paper, there was a fruitcake sitting there. "What the..bloody hell is that?!" he asked, looking around to see who put it there..But no one was there.. "Well, well, well..Apparently we have a stray fruitcake..Maybe I'll poison you and give you to Potter.." he said, grinning menacingly. He poked it for no reason at all--it was rock hard. "Jeez..someone can't bake..hmmm..." he said, grinning. "I wonder how far I can kick this thing.."  
  
Snape went out into the hall and dropped the fruitcake a ways infront of him, and then he kicked it..hard.  
  
The fruitcake sailed through the hall and landed on Professer McGonagal's head. She looked ip at the fruitcake that balanced on her hat and grumbled. "SEVERUS!!!!!!" she yelled.  
"EEP!" said Professer Snape, running back into his office.  
"SEVERUS!!!! GET OVER HERE!!!" fumed Professer McGonagall.  
"Y-yes'um?" called Professer Snape, poking his head out of his class.  
"Severus..WHY THE HELL DID YOU KICK A FRUITCAKE AT ME?!"  
"Umm..I can see you're McPissed..So..Bye bye!" said Professer Snape, locking himself in his office.   
"Oh, he thinks I'm McPissed does he? I'LL SHOW HIM MCPISSED!" yelled professer McGonagall, throwing the fruitcake against the wall. *WHAM!* The Fruitcake bouinced off the wall and hit her in the head. "OW!" she said as it hit her in the forehead. *WHAM!* "OW!" *WHAM!* "OW!" *WHAM!" "OW!" was all anyone within "OW"ing distance could hear. Professer Snape just peeked out from his office, chuckling.  
  
The next day, when Professer McGonagall walked into the Great Hall, everyone gasped. Professer McGonagall's face was covered with bruises and she was carrying a fruitcake. She stormed over to Professer Snape. "I BELIEVE this fruitcake is yours.." she hissed, shoving the fruitcake at him.  
"Did you beat her up, Severus?" asked Professer Sprout, rather confused.  
"No..THE FRUITCKAE DID!" cried Professer Snape, unable to contain his laughter. Everyone turned to look at Professer Dumbledore. "Not THAT fruitcake! THIS Fruitcake!" he laughed, holding up the fruitcake.  
"Shut up Severus or else I'll turn you into a Pcow!" said Professer McGonagall.  
"What the hell is a Pcow?" asked Professer Snape.  
"I don't know, but I will transfigure you into one!" said Professer McGonagal.  
"Oh yeah, Minerva? You'll have to catch me first!!" yelled Professer Snape, getting up and running around the table, the fruitcake held high above his head. Dumbledore grabbed the fruitcake.  
"I am so glad you found my fruitcake, Severus! Now, sit down and quit acting insane again! We JUST got you out of the asylum!" said Professer Dumbledore, sternly.  
"Yes'um.." said Professer Snape, hanging his head and slumping down to his chair. Professer McGonagal tapped his head with her wand, and Professer Snape became a fluffy pink bunny--which made the whole hall roar with laughter, and then she changed him back--feeling he had been humiliated enough for now.  
"There Severus..You've been tormented for long enough now.." said Professer McGonagall, grinning.  
"You know, I hear a woman will change a man...but this was RIDICULOUS!" said Professer Snape, beet red and with a cute, evil, disbeileving look on his face.   
"No, this is..ummm..INSANITY!" said Professer Dumbledore, giggling.  
  
--THE END!--  
  
Notes:  
  
Baka Kitsune: ^^;; Well, I guess this is what you get for listening to "Fruitcakes" by Jimmy Buffett all day(Don't ask..Bordem happens to play a large role in my listening to this..) really makes ya nuts..Well, I would just like to say this to all those people out there who believe Anime Mannerisms should stick to Anime..  
I WILL WRITE HOW I WANT!! I LIKE WHAT I DO AND SO DO OTHER PEOPLE!! AND IF YOU'RE GOING TO FLAME ME, MAKE IT A HOWLER!!! I AM TIERD OF PEOPLE WHO FLAME ME WITH A "what a piece of crap"!!!! I WOULD LIKE PROOF BACKING UP YOUR HATRED FOR MY FICS!!  
Snape: Minerva..get the gun..Old Foxy's got the rabies..She's ranting over her own flames and how she wants good ones..  
McGonagall: That's nice..  
Baka Kitsune: *clears throat* And all flames will be used to help light my barbeque for dinner tomorrow.  
Snape: Okay, she's become normal..  
McGonagall: Uh-huh..  
Snape: She's right behind you..  
McGonagall: Yeah, right..  
Baka Kitsune: *points to Snape* YOU'RE NEXT!  
  
"and as our story ends, you can see a Baka Kitsune chasing Severus Snape with a fruitcake yelling "C'MON!! WE GOTTA WRITE ANOTHER FIC ABOUT YOU AND THE FRUITCAKE!!!" 


End file.
